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Joseph Layland Jr.: Missouri Tanning Salon Owner Accused of Videotaping Customers

DailyRFT - Women say that Joseph Layland Jr.'s tanning salon in the small town of Malden attracted patrons from all around the Missouri bootheel. "There's a lot more women," client Krista Cullum told news station KFVS this week. "It's not just Malden. We came from everywhere, Gideon, Risco, Campbell, because of the price." Often, the 36-year-old Layland wouldn't even charge his clients a dime, says Cullum. He was just happy they'd returned to his DJ's Tan and Tone after sending the women friendly Facebook messages, such as, "Your (tanning) bed misses you." But, then, last week one of his female clients noticed something peculiar inside her tanning booth. A 1/4-inch hole in the wall seemed to contain a reflective piece of glass like, perhaps, a camera lens. The woman contacted the police and surprise, surprise! Authorities discovered that Layland had been secretly videotaping dozens of clients at his tanning salon. Moreover, a search of his home found some 444 DVDs and more than 100 VHS tapes, many containing pornography and/or child porn. Suddenly, it's become something of a perverted parlor game in southeast Missouri wondering who may have landed in Layland's video archive. On Saturday, some 100 women met with Malden police concerned that they may appear nude or semi-nude in the videos. Officials say there is no evidence that that stash was ever uploaded onto the Internet. Layland has been charged with four counts of possession of child pornography and six counts of invasion of privacy. He was placed in custody on a $500,000 cash-only bond.

There are a couple of important points here. First of all, is this like the 2,579th time a tanning salon has been busted? Cameras are everywhere these days, but these tanning salon dudes must have a freakin' monopoly, right? Point number two - tan lines are sexy as hell! Listen to me, my chicas - avoid being on some porno website and at the same time get your sexy freak on by wearing a little butt floss and a tiny top to the tanning bed. You'll keep your dignity and your man will be forever grateful. Guys love tan lines.  Then people like Mr. McPervert got nuthin' on ya. Pay attention!

PS - Kind of funny that this dude's name is "Layland", right? Hehe.

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Former talk show host Montel Williams was busted with drug paraphernalia at Milwaukee's General Mitchell International Airport, according to reports. While passing through a security checkpoint at the airport on Tuesday, TSA officials found what they believed to be a pipe used for smoking pot. According toTMZ, there was no residue in the pipe...


Can we cut the shit already?  Hey Montel, I realize you got a medical condition, but this is now the greatest scam of the century.  Doobies are just a traffic ticket in lots of states now, and the whole "Medical Marijuana" thing is a total joke.  Here's what I want you to do:  call a little press conference, tell the world you like to get wasted and watch Oprah and eat a bag of Fig Newtons.  You'll be a hero, breaking ground like Steve Buckley and makin' us all proud.  Here we go!!!  Pay attention!