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COLUMBUS DISPATCH - A Huron County woman stashed 47 balloons of heroin in her vagina after a quick drug deal in Columbus on Thursday, the Delaware County sheriff said yesterday. A Delaware County deputy received a tip that Tiffany Giummo, 20, of Willard, would be traveling to Columbus to buy heroin, Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said in a news release. The deputy saw Giummo get into another vehicle about 4:25 p.m. Thursday, briefly drive around the block, then get back in her Dodge Durango. The driver of the second vehicle told the deputy that he was a confidential informant for Huron County in northern Ohio and that Giummo had 47 balloons of heroin hidden inside her body. Giummo was stopped on I-71 near Sunbury by the deputy as she was heading north. She admitted that she had heroin inside her body and said she would retrieve it, according to the release. About 4.23 grams of heroin were seized, worth about $850. The Bureau of Criminal Identification and Investigation will determine the official weight of the drug. Drug dealers often use balloons to package small amounts of heroin, about the size of the top of a pinky finger. Giummo, who faces a felony charge of possession of drugs, is being held at the Delaware County jail. "Heroin is already an extremely dangerous drug, but transporting it inside the body has taken this danger to another level," Davis said in the release. "Transporting heroin inside the body raises the risk of the drug entering the system in unknown quantities, which could result in overdose or death."

This must be some loosey cootchie. And by the way, wash off that heroin immediately. Chick looks flat out nasty. The balloons probably got an STD. Matter of fact, I pity the poor police officer who had to look at that thing and scoop out the dope (pun intended). I have a feeling Tiffany's vagina looks like the face of an angry bear. Not pretty.

Police: Drugs Suspect Had Heroin-Filled Syringe In Vagina

LOUISVILLE, Ky. - Two Louisville residents are facing drug charges after police said they made a traffic stop and found one of them had a syringe in her vagina. According to arrest records, a person stopped police at Third and Florence streets Sunday afternoon and told officers that she had seen the people in a parked car shooting up. Police said the people pulled out of the lot before officers could speak to them. Police said they followed the car onto eastbound Interstate 264, where the driver was speeding but eventually stopped. According to arrest records, police asked the driver, Clayton T. Shepherd, if he had any illegal substances in the car. Shepherd said he did not, according to police. Police then asked for permission to search the car. According to arrest records, officers found a cloth bag containing cotton swabs and a syringe with unknown contents under the car's driver's seat. Police also found two glass marijuana pipes with residue and numerous baggies of marijuana in and around the front seat area of the car, according to arrest records. Shepherd's 2-year-old daughter was in the car at the time of the traffic stop, police said. Shepherd's passenger, Evelyn T. Wolford, admitted to police that she had a syringe with heroin inserted in her vagina, police said. Wolford removed the syringe under supervision of a female police officer, according to arrest records. Police said Wolford had two bottles of prescription medicine in Wolford's purse. Both bottles were prescribed to other people, according to arrest reports. Shepherd, 24, is charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, endangering the welfare of a minor and speeding. Wolford, 20, is charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, endangering the welfare of a minor and possession of marijuana.

So many observations, so little time.  First of all, kind of a cute couple, huh?  Looks a little like one of those Seattle grunge band couples from the '90s.  Plus the ginger's not too bad if you can look past the suitcases under her eyes.  But then we have the issue of the syringe in the punany.  Kind of pointy to begin with, but why would you ever cop to it to the police?  I mean there might be a slight chance that you could get off with some lesser charges, and wouldn't you take that chance, especially with the kid in the car?  And finally, I got no respect for my boy Clayton here.  Any gentleman would take the hit for the chick and the kid.  Man up, douche bag.  Now you're in jail, your smack-buddy is in jail and your kid is gonna spend the rest of her life with Social Services.  You're a triple-threat, asswipe.  Smarten the fuck up!