April Summers Wallpaper

At first I thought Mr. Eastbound And Down kinda sucked at this. After all, his name's McBride. But then I thought, hey wait a minute, I'm Irish too and I didn't know what a single one of those swears were. Matter of fact, I'm not even sure they're real. For all I know someone just made this shit up to make Danny look like a big ol' "Geebag." Shame on you, you fekkin' devious micks.

Confession. I'm Irish. This video does not make me proud. Here's what I don't understand. Who decided that arms couldn't be a part of dancing? I don't get it. Was there some evil Irish warlord back before the potato famine who had kids born without arms? Do Irish chicks have the stinkiest armpits on the planet? It just doesn't make any sense. Dancing is a whole body thing, right? Maybe that's why you won't find many freckled, red-haired, colleen-faced strippers. How they gonna hold onto the pole? Right. Ain't happenin'. Love the beer. Hate the dancin'. Bang. Pay attention you drunken shillelagh's.

PS - Confession Part Two - Irish food sucks. Ya boil a bunch of salty meat, potatoes, and veggies and call that a meal? Uh-uh. I'll take lasagna any day. Or pizza, or spare ribs, or steak, or prime rib, or Chinese, or Greek, or Thai, or Mexican, or MacDonald's, or KFC, or a boiled fekkin' shoe, or....

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery -The study of paintings.
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan - Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic - A sheep dog.
Coma - A punctuation mark.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a friend.
Fester - Quicker than someone else.
Fibula - A small lie.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane.
Morbid - A higher offer.
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
Node - Knew it.
Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative - A letter carrier.
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.
Rectum - Nearly killed him.
Secretion - Hiding something.
Seizure - Roman emperor.
Tablet - A small table.
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour - One plus one more.
Urine - Opposite of you're out.


BLONDE INVENTIONS
1.Tricycle kickstand
2.Solar flashlight
3.Fire proof matches
4.Inflatable dartboard
5.Glass hammer
6.Black light bulb
7.Boomerang grenade