April Summers Wallpaper

The Examiner - A retirement community in Florida was surprised when their community kitchen was burglarized last month. They were even more surprised when they looked at the surveillance tape and saw a naked man stealing sausage, napkins and a First Aid kit, according to the Naples Daily News. Lee County Sherriff’s were able to use the surveillance video to apprehend the sausage stealing suspect, 34-year-old Joshua Abernathy. The Mariner’s Cove adult housing community in the city of Estero, near Fort Myers, has around 230 mobile and manufactured homes. Residents of the community did not recognize Abernathy and believe he may be a transient who got in through a locked door. Abernathy was charged with burglary and petty theft from the January 7th incident. The video was released yesterday by the Lee County Sheriff’s office.


Must.  Have.  Sausage.  Well of course you must, Joshua.  I feel for you, bro.  Your a transient, you got no clothes, you're a little hungry and some Jimmy Dean's would hit the spot, wouldn't they?  In the good old days before surveillance cameras you would've gotten away with it, too.  Now because of all this damn technology you got your naked self splashed all over every computer in the world.  Life sucks, then you die.  Tough break, Joshua.

News-Press
Deputies: Man broke into Estero club house, stripped nude and stole sausage

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office is trying to identify a man who broke into the Mariner’s Cove club house in Estero, stripped nude and stole $15 in sausage. Joseph Brown told investigators he brought the sausage to the club house for an upcoming bingo night and noticed Friday the sausage had been stolen from the refrigerator, according to a sheriff’s office report. Brown then reviewed the club house’s surveillance video and saw an unknown white male enter through an unlocked rear sliding glass door and go through several drawers and the refrigerator. At one point, the man was also seen walking around the club house in the nude, possibly after showering in a wash area behind the kitchen, according to the report. A first aid kit and some paper napkins were also taken.

Hey, everybody loves a tasty Jimmy Dean, but what's up with the first aid kit and the napkins? Is this dude trying to make some Lady Gaga type of bro-suit?  Rage on, fancy pants....