April Summers Wallpaper

LAKEWOOD RANCH, FL. - Manatee County deputies have arrested a man for walking around naked and dancing. According to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, 36-year-old Eric Echales was walking near Balmoral Woods Boulevard and Arnold Palmer Green in Lakewood Ranch Monday morning without any clothes on listening to his iPod and dancing. When Echales was asked why he was naked, he said he just, "Wanted to feel free". Echales says people were driving by laughing and blowing their horns, and that people were enjoying him being naked. On the way to the Manatee County Jail, Echales told the deputy that he didn't know he would be taken to jail for being naked, but it, "Felt good to be free." The report says he was under the influence of alcohol. He was arrested charged with Indecent Exposure and released on bond Friday.

I'll say it again.  Florida is the penis of America and needs to be castrated immediately.  Just an entire state full of whack-jobs and old folks driving with perpetual blinkers on.  Let's cut off this embarassment, let it float south and attach itself to cuba.  Bang.  Done.  Pay attention!

TCPALM - A man accused of being naked in public and who is quoted as saying, "You want a piece of this," while pulling his crotch has been arrested, according to recently released records. Stephen David Delaplaine, 58, was arrested April 19 on two exposure of sexual organs warrants stemming from earlier alleged in-the-buff incidents. About 5:15 a.m. March 27, Port St. Lucie police went to Southeast Kestwick Court and Southeast Rivergreen Circle "in reference to a naked male standing on the corner," records show. A woman said she was delivering newspapers, and when she came to the corner, she saw a man in his birthday suit. She passed the man again after making a U-turn on the dead-end street. The nude dude was described as about 50 to 60 years old, wearing glasses and "slightly balding with a big belly just standing there." She said she saw the same man au naturel two to three weeks earlier. The next morning the accused naked man pulled on his penis and said, "You want a piece of this." Police spied Delaplaine -- sporting a Hawaiian shirt and tan shorts -- in his living room nearby. He matched the woman's description but denied being the naked man. He said he was reading and has depression and insomnia. The woman identified Delaplaine, of the 1600 block of Southeast Kestwick Court in Port St. Lucie, as the naked man. Delaplaine ultimately declined to take a lie detector test, saying his "depression and mental illness would not show a fair result."

Aw c'mon. How is Stevie here not gettin' laid left and right? I'm mean he's obviously got the dashing good looks, he lets ya see the merchandise before ya buy and he's got the greatest pick-up line of all time. Dude's a playa. He's a pro in a world of rank amateurs. Must be like Carl Crawford. He's got all the skills and talent, just slumpin' big time right now. Things will turn around Steve-o. Just keep your head in the game.

Well, that's one way to beat the morning rush hour: Naked man snapped running down LA freeway

LOS ANGELES - The morning rush hour: Long, boring and inevitable. Except, that is, for the motorists who had the displeasure of sharing the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles with a naked man yesterday. Hundreds took to Twitter to report sightings of a young man running in the middle of the road completely starkers except for a pair of black socks. One even managed to take a picture on his smart phone. It is not exactly clear why the man, who has not been identified, was hurtling down the busy road and he is lucky not to have been knocked down. It wasn't long before the LAPD caught up with him however, but not before he had attacked a woman after exiting the freeway for Santa Monica Boulevard. He was arrested at around 9am for indecent exposure and reportedly taken for a 72-hour mental health assessment. After this time police can decide whether to charge him, release him or apply for more time to hold him. Several witnesses left comments on an LA Weekly blog about the incident. One said they saw the man running in the fast lane where traffic was travelling at 30-40 MPH. 'He looked upset and was reaching for something imaginary out in front of him, as if he was trying to catch it,' they said. While a woman calling herself Lenore claimed she was the one who had been attacked by the man. 'He argued with me for a while and then when I got out my phone to call the cops he grabbed me, grabbed my phone out of my hands, and tried to tug my purse away. 'Luckily another guy helped me get the phone back!' she wrote. She added the man had asked her for money so he could buy clothes and then tried to take her book so he could sell it on eBay. The whole things started, she said, when the man had run into the bonnet of a car and fell onto the pavement. 'I thought he might be hurt because he didn't move for like a minute,' she wrote. Just last week a 63-year-old Kelly Shimizu was killed by a big rig lorry at the same intersection of the 405. And it's not the first time a naked man has caused havoc on that particular freeway. Just last year a 21-year-old man startled drivers about half an hour up the 405 in Cherry Avenue, Long Beach. He was arrested, given a mental health evaluation and was later charged with a misdemeanor for indecent exposure.

I'm surprised this doesn't happen every day. I'm serious. I lived in California for awhile and the traffic on the freeways is absolutely unbelievable. It can literally take hours just to drive a few miles. And while we think we're crazy drivers here in Boston, let me tell ya, they're worse out in Cali. They change lanes without signaling, cut you off without warning and generally drive like total asswipes. Every once in awhile somebody goes nuts in a traffic jam, but I'm here to tell ya I'm shocked it doesn't happen all day every day.  Just hordes of naked humans goin' apeshit runnin' up and down the highways....

Naked man presents Victoria cops with philosophical dilemma

VANCOUVER,CANADA - Existentialism 101: What do you do with a naked man? Well, Victoria police officers — understandably — wanted to know why a naked man on Monday was walking the city streets — except for a few moments when a woman placed a towel around him. But when asked why he was naked, the man instead questioned officers as to why they were walking around in clothes. "Point taken," the officers write on the Victoria Police blog. "Unable to reconcile this philosophical paradox, the officers conveyed the man to hospital for a mental-health assessment.

Maybe the best police report I've ever read. But why send this dude for a mental health assessment? All you philosophy majors out there know that this is a perfectly legitimate question. Why indeed do we walk around in clothes? I get it when it's cold outside, but what about those perfect 75-degree days? Huh? There are lots of places in the world where it's okay to drop trou and parade around in your birthday suit. What if this guy just felt way too hot and uncomfortable by wearing clothes? Should we force him to wear them? Isn't that cruel? Free this political prisoner immediately! (Unless of course he's really gross looking. Nobody wants to see that shit.)

Slurry pervert back in court after returning to farm to sexually gratify himself

ENGLAND - A man convicted of sexually gratifying himself in manure has been caught doing it again – by a child. David Truscott, 41, of Pengegon Parc, Camborne, was discovered on Saturday by the youngster at Woodbury House Farm, Redruth. When police officers arrived soon after, they found Truscott naked and covered in a large amount of slurry and mud, in a quagmire, surrounded by tissues. Earlier this week magistrates in Truro referred Truscott’s case to the city’s Crown Court for sentencing after he pleaded guilty to breaching a restraining order and to causing harassment to Clive Roth, who lives on the farm. Jill Wilson, prosecuting, said the restraining order had been made in 2009 prohibiting Truscott from entering the farm for any reason. She said: “There is a history of his visiting this particular farm seeking sexual gratification while immersed in cow dung and mud. “This is the only place he seeks to gratify himself in this particular manner. It goes back seven years.” She added the Roth family had to regularly check their livestock, outbuildings and equipment. Truscott had committed a sex act in a muck spreader and set fire to outbuildings, killing livestock, in frustration when they cleaned out their farm equipment to prevent his activity. On Saturday, a son of the family had become aware a man had been seen climbing over a gate to the property. The child came across Truscott naked in a field among cow dung and mud. Truscott was jailed for 20 weeks in November 2009 for breaching the restraining order. It had only been imposed in September of that year. He was remanded in custody and the case was sent to Crown Court for March 23.

This guy's got some serious determination, huh? He wants to jerk off in shit and no one's gonna stop him. Matter of fact, if you try to stop him he starts burnin' shit down! Throw him in the pokey, let the other prisoners poop in his cell all day and maybe he'll be a happy camper. If not, tough shit. ;-)

SEATTLE - Seattle Police, in a release this morning, said they were called overnight to a report of a naked man “growling like a dog” on a Maple Leaf front porch. Officers contacted the naked man, who was clearly under the influence of narcotics. The man continued to scream that he was “the devil” and that “everyone was going to die.” Officers ordered the man to lie down, but he instead continued to scream and started punching windows, breaking them and cutting himself. At that point, officers were forced to use non-lethal force to control him. He was then handcuffed and Seattle Fire was able to treat the cuts to his hands. The 20-year-old suspect was taken to Harborview Medical Center for further treatment. The incident occurred about 10:50 p.m. on March 1 in the 2000 block of Northeast 105th Street.

I got some news for these cops - this guy is a dog. There are no drugs involved here.  I've watched every episode of HBO's "True Blood" so I think I'm what you call an expert in this area. You see, there are these creatures out there called shape-shifters. Sometimes they own a bar in Louisiana and they're named Sam. They can change into fucking animals! Really.  No shit! Then they can change back, but when they do they're naked. Most of 'em are pretty nice and are just tryin' to figure out how they got born that way. But trust me, this guy actually is a dog. (Not sure about the devil part, though.)

ORLANDO - A man was found dead in his van just a few feet away from the entrance to a Walmart, and police said he may have been there for days. Shoppers said they noticed Luis Ramirez living in his van in the South Semoran Boulevard shopping plaza for several weeks. The 70-year-old was found slumped over his steering wheel about noon Sunday. For the crowd that gathered and the few that had seen him before, it was tough to watch. Many were afraid they had watched him slowly starve to death. "I see him ducking down and he's got his like clothes hung up inside the van he should go to a shelter or hospital or something," said shopper Lamont Bagley. It will be up to the medical examiner to try to figure out how Ramirez died and when but police don't suspect foul play.

And once again, this is why Florida, the penis of America, needs to be cut off. Are you freakin' kiddin' me? People were walking past this dude for weeks, parked right in front of the store entrance and nobody called the cops, nobody told the store management, nobody said a word? There must have been tens of thousands of customers that saw what was goin' on and - nothing. Nobody smelled anything?  Oh, that's right, it's Florida.  Already smells like shit.  Time to castrate Florida. Bang. Pay attention!

So I was on Safari in Africa and saw this one animal bullying another animal. At first I kind of just ignored it, but after a while it started gettin' to me. I mean, at some point you gotta stop the madness. Enough is enough and all that. Anyway, I decided to step in and put an end to it all. Bang. Done.

Metro - Mir Wei, 43 - who'd been moved from his pitch in Hechi, southern China - stripped off his clothes and dangled from the high tension wire. But after hours of negotiations, fed up cops shot him with a wildlife tranquilliser gun and caught his body in a sling before lowering him to the ground. 'He was very upset at being made to move and he had also been drinking quite heavily which might explain his behaviour,' said a police spokesman. He was taken to hospital, where he is believed to be recovering well.

Seems like we have a lot of alcohol-related posts today. Welcome to the Speakeasy! However, as protests go, this is a pretty good one. The dude is obviously displaying some impressive climbing skills, balance and persistence. No one dies, lots of fun for everyone watching, pure entertainment. Move along people, move along....

Gather
Naked Tourist Disrupts Traffic in Florida Keys, Tased

A naked tourist, running down the street and yelling that he was "king of the world," disrupted traffic in Big Coppitt Key, Florida this past Sunday. 43-year-old Richard Gervasi, on vacation from Pennsylvania was running down the street and into traffic on US-1 at 1:30 in the morning.
The naked tourist gets tased
When local police pulled up on the nude Gervasi and two of his friends, Gervasi took a swing at one of his friends and bumped into a deputy. Deputy Danielle Malone tased Gervasi, but he didn't go down quietly. According to reports, he pulled the Taser prongs out, but he was promptly tased again. Just then an additional deputy arrived, and as Gervasi tried to get up again, he was tased a third time. This time he was handcuffed and carted off.
Why did it take getting tased three times?
It turns out that our naked tourist had been drinking and also had taken LSD before all of this happened. He was reportedly screaming that he was "made of steel" as he was being carted off. So he was drugged up and didn't feel a thing from being tased three separate times. This goes far beyond "Don't tase me bro." If an officer has to try to knock the guy down three times, that LSD must have been doing a number on this guy. Unfortunately, Gervasi forgot that Leonardo DiCaprio's Titanic character was clothed and standing on the bow of the Titanic when he proclaimed that he was "king of the world." Maybe the LSD made Gervasi confuse Titanic with the streaking scene in Old School. One thing is clear: Gervais was smart enough to pick the much warmer Florida Keys over Pennsylvania for his epic turn, streaking down US-1. Too bad people stuck in traffic had to get an eyeful of this, naked-taser action.

MyFoxDFW
Man Shot in Head Sneezes out Bullet


A man who was accidentally shot in the head on New Year's Eve is recovering after he sneezed out the bullet while waiting for doctors. Twenty-eight-year-old Darco Sangermano was celebrating with his girlfriend in Naples, Italy when a stray bullet struck him in the temple, according to MetroUK . Doctors say the .22 caliber projectile went behind his eye socket and lodged in his nasal passage. An ambulance rushed him to the hospital, but while he was waiting for doctors to see him, Sangermano suddenly sneezed and the bullet flew out of his right nostril. Amazed doctors performed surgery to repair some shattered bones that temporarily damaged his vision, but say he should fully recover.