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Ove this chick - she can take over the kitchen here at the Speakeasy anytime.

Bravo!  This has gotta be one of the best drunken performances I've ever seen.  This dude is nothing but sheer will and desire.  He's shitfaced, he knows it, but it ain't gonna stop him from completing his appointed mission.  Even after all the falls, stumbles and crashes, in the end he just gets his jog on and starts the final trot home.  True pro.  Can start on my varsity team any time.

And just in case any of you forgot or have missed my previous posts, here's the best chef on the interwebberbloggernet:



I'd pay anything to hire 'em both to cook here at the Speakeasy.  Shit would be crazed.

Props to the commentary on this video. "The Golden Age Of Cinema." "He's hogtyin' her!" Great stuff. And to our little fugitive here - ya gotta know once you demonstrate how you can slip out of the handcuffs that things are only gonna get worse. Big tactical error there, sweetie. Gotta know when the game's over and it's time to hit the showers.

PS - Wasn't this whole thing kinda the security dude's fault to begin with? Brother poured a drink on her head. Was she not supposed to respond? I'm just sayin'....

That's how. That is all.

Remind me not to get arrested in Russia. Even the female cops look like they enjoy beatin' the shit outta ya. But then again, the cops in Russia are probably just as dickered as the prisoners, because as we all know, everyone in Russia drinks Stoli all day every day.

Don't worry Paul, we've all been there. Just dickered to the point where the balance is shot to shit. Too bad it had to be caught on camera, but think of the memories you'll have. You can pop out this little scene on the holidays and show the kids and the grandkids just how much fun you had back in the day. Cheers!

Gee, I hope the dog's okay....

This dude must be the neighborhood drunk that the kids wait for to come home. Looks like morning and there's more than one person ready to catch the action. All I can say is it must've been on helluva night!

I love drunk chicks. They're always just fallin' all over the place and seem so surprised when they do. Guys on the other hand always seem to know just what's goin' on. High fives and whoops all around. Pause the video and take a look at this chick's face as she hits the pavement. Freakin' priceless. Hey honey, prolly had nothin' to do with the five shots of tequila you just inhaled, huh? Love it.

He goes by the handle Papercuts777 on YouTube. He's bat-shit crazy and entertaining as hell. His videos are outrageous and so is his food. I dare you to have more fun watching someone cook. I've made his stuff - it's awesome. The dude deserves a cooking show on HBO. Pay attention!

This guy is obviously completely shithoused but I don't blame him at all. If the house that I lived in my whole life just burned down my next stop would be the liquor store, too. A case of Bud's might not even be enough to drown those sorrows. You'd have to be doin' shots in between and I mean tequila, not some pussy shots with a fancy name. As the man says, "Boom." Pay attention!

I've heard of getting chicks drunk and taking advantage of them before, but I don't think this is exactly how it's supposed to go. The plan was going well until Sally here decided to get hard-headed about things. Be careful what you ask for....

Metro - Mir Wei, 43 - who'd been moved from his pitch in Hechi, southern China - stripped off his clothes and dangled from the high tension wire. But after hours of negotiations, fed up cops shot him with a wildlife tranquilliser gun and caught his body in a sling before lowering him to the ground. 'He was very upset at being made to move and he had also been drinking quite heavily which might explain his behaviour,' said a police spokesman. He was taken to hospital, where he is believed to be recovering well.

Seems like we have a lot of alcohol-related posts today. Welcome to the Speakeasy! However, as protests go, this is a pretty good one. The dude is obviously displaying some impressive climbing skills, balance and persistence. No one dies, lots of fun for everyone watching, pure entertainment. Move along people, move along....

Some may look at this and see a dude just blitzed beyond recognition. I look at this and see the spark of genius. Now I figure our man here is just in the testing phase, but this little experiment has a chance to change the course of humanity.

In ancient times, man just squatted in the woods, did his business and perhaps used a leaf to wipe away any remaining debris. Later, fabrics were introduced to do the dirty work. Centuries ago, sailors would actually raise the anchor of a ship, wipe their behinds on it and return the anchor to the ocean to cleanse it. During the Great Depression, roadside farmers sold corn husks to be used for the same purpose. In modern times, we have Charmin, Bounty, etc.

But what if by eating a scientifically designed napkin, in the right manner and at the perfect moment during a meal, we could digest said napkin so that it would automatically wipe our arse after defecating, thereby eliminating the need for the roll of toilet paper? That's right people, the perfect Ghost Wipe! Never again will the world be worried about being stranded on the bowl! All the work is done up front so you can relax, read your newspaper or magazine and know that when you're done, you're done. Automatic wiping. Here's to you, mad scientist. It's people like you who advance our civilization, one square at a time! Pay attention!

UPDATE: Some sites are saying this reporter might have actually suffered a stroke. WTF? I'll keep you posted....

UPDATE #2:  I guess she didn't have a stroke - let the heckling resume!

This is just pure gold. At first, when she failed a little on the split move but then kinda recovered, I thought she had pulled it together. But then when she got up and the room started spinning, we got the ending we all wanted. So, you think you can dance? Bang.

How shitty were these guys? There's probably a serious tequila shortage in Texas right now. God help the common man! Save Texas!