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Exclusive: Pornography found in bin Laden hideout: officials

REUTERS - A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday. The pornography recovered in bin Laden's compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity. The officials said they were not yet sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it. Specifically, the officials said they did not know if bin Laden himself had acquired or viewed the materials. Reports from Abbottabad have said that bin Laden's compound was cut off from the Internet or other hard-wired communications networks. It is unclear how compound residents would have acquired the pornography. But a video released by the Obama administration confiscated from the compound showed bin Laden watching pictures of himself on a TV screen, indicating that the compound was equipped with video playback equipment. Materials carted away from the compound by the U.S. commandos included digital thumb drives, which U.S. officials believe may have been a principal means by which couriers carried electronic messages to and from the late al Qaeda leader. Three other U.S. officials familiar with evidence gathered during investigations of other Islamic militants said the discovery of pornography is not uncommon in such cases.

No word yet on whether it was gay porn, kiddie porn or animal porn. I'm guessing animals.

GENESIS ONLINE - Vivid Entertainment CEO, Steven Hirsch sent Prince William’s new sister-in-law, Pippa Middleton, a letter offering five million dollars to star in just one scene. According to sources, Hirsch did not mention whether it was a sex scene or non-sex, but he went on to say that Princess Kate’s sister was the “Star of the Royal Wedding, and her beauty and attitude would make her a huge adult star.” Hirsch also offered Kate and Pippa’s brother, James, one million for one scene as well. The two lesser siblings have recently been in headlines for salacious pictures that they allegedly took prior to the Royal Wedding which took place April 29. As of press time, the Middleton siblings have made no comments regarding Hirsch’s offer.

Take the money, Pippa! I wanna see some royla ass doin' some royal sex. For selfish reasons, I'd have blog material that would just keep comin' and comin' and comin', And yes, I said "comin'" completely on purpose. Just one little scene. Thant's all we ask. Five or six minutes of schtuppin' some dude with the British flag tattooed on his ginormous unit. The world needs you right now, Pippa. Step up and do the right thing! Five million clams! Take the money and run!

LOS ANGELES, CA - At least it means one lucky motorist might have escaped a parking ticket Two Los Angeles traffic officers have been suspended after they starred alongside a blonde actress in a porn film - while they were on duty. In the explicit video, the unnamed pair - both in uniform - are seen spanking and fondling the naked woman in broad daylight on a city street. Shockingly, bosses allegedly knew about their unusual sideline months ago, but failed to discipline them. Their X-rated antics came to light after an investigation by NBC4 Los Angeles, which received a copy of the video from another traffic department employee. Both officers have now been placed on administrative leave pending a full investigation. In the film, available on an adult subscription site, a naked blonde actress is seen throwing herself into the arms of one of the uniformed men, who fondles her breasts and spanks her. Then she turns and spanks his colleague, who lets her into their official city car where she performs a lewd act on herself. The scene is part of a longer video in which the woman is fondled and groped by men 'in a range of work environments', according to NBC4...

Is that your nightstick or are you just happy to see me? Talk about workin' blue. But seriously, what's all the fuss? It looks like these two Keystones were just performing a little slap and tickle on the side. No biggie, right? They search and seize all the time. This time they just got paid a little to demonstrate their professional skills. It's just the "serving" part of "To serve and protect" right? I say put 'em back on the beat and let the rest of us continue to beat off. Pay attention!

Whips and goo makes it porn, right? Well, not necessarily. This is probably one of the stupidest videos I've ever seen. But since I'm not the ultimate arbiter of taste, I feel it's my duty to bring this drivel to you, loyal Speakeasies, and let you decide for yourself. But I'm tellin' ya, it's total crap. CRAP, I tell ys!

St. Petersburg homeless men say they're enduring beatings for bucks in fetish fight videos

ST. PETERSBURG - It sounded like a good idea to George Grayson: Get $50 for submitting to a 12-minute videotaped beating by an attractive female. A homeless man, Grayson needed the money. So he followed the recruiters to a St. Petersburg townhouse on seven different occasions over the last few months, he said, and let five different women use his body and face as a punching bag. Grayson, 37, became one of many St. Petersburg homeless men allegedly targeted by recruiters from Shefights.net, a locally operated website that sells for as much as $900 videos of scantily clad or semi-nude women beating up men, according to a lawsuit. "I'm still in a little bit of pain from a couple of weeks ago," Grayson said last week. "I'm just trying to deal with it mentally right now." Local homeless advocate G.W. Rolle said for months he noticed men walking around Williams Park with black eyes, split lips and limps before he finally got someone to tell him about the "beatdowns," as they have come to be known among the homeless. He began interviewing and photographing several men with similar stories and injuries, and attorneys representing two of the men have filed a lawsuit against Jeff Williams of Shefights.net, J.P. Florida Productions, "Cindy Doe" and "Jane Does 1-5." Southern Legal Counsel, which has represented St. Petersburg's homeless in the past, filed the suit seeking an injunction to stop the beatings, saying the men were vulnerable and desperate for money. It also seeks damages for medical costs and emotional distress. "I was shocked when I found out what was really going on," Rolle said. "It's incredible what people will do to each other." Williams, of Shefights.net, said Rolle coaxed and bought the testimony of Grayson and 20-year-old Kyle Shaw, the two plaintiffs in the suit. He said he plans to countersue, claiming the men and their advocates lied and have damaged his reputation. "These men are crack addicts and will say anything for money," Williams said. He said Grayson and Shaw were featured in some of the videos, but he said they signed liability releases and knew what they were doing. "They've come back many times, which makes it pretty consensual," Williams said. Citing the case, he declined to speak about the videos or other specifics....


I'm a little torn as to how I come down on this one.  On the porn company's side, if these guys were hurtin' so badly, why do they keep comin' back?  On the other hand, crack addicts and homeless people with low IQ's probably can be talked into doin' just about anything for money.  On the third hand, who actually gets off watchin' a chick beat the shit out of a crackhead?  In the end, I think it comes down to this:  Just like everything else in life, it gets all screwed up once the lawyers get involved.  If everything was just left alone, the homeless dudes would be fine - they'll stop if they figure it's not worth it anymore.  People will jerk off in the privacy of their homes without hurtin' anyone.  The chicks make a few bucks shootin' the videos and the porn company keeps on takin' advantage of good ol' American capitalism.  Laissez faire!  Leave 'em alone!  Kill the lawyers.  Pay attention.

Frog Porn Found On Man's Laptop

MyFoxNewYork - A British magistrate avoided jail after being caught with a bizarre porno collection that included images of a woman having sex with a frog, according to a published report. Police raided the Rotherham home of Michael Hall, 46, and found the images on his laptop, according to The Sun. They allegedly found hundreds of photos and videos showing women engaging in sex acts with horses, a donkey, dogs, a gerbil, a frog and a live snake. Hall admitted to charges of possessing hard-core pornography in a British court and was sentenced to a 144 day sex offender program. Sally Sharp, head of a rape and sexual offences unit, said, "This case is particularly repugnant involving multiple charges of possessing extreme pornographic images. The fact that the defendant was a magistrate and in a position of trust is additionally an aggravating feature."

Now don't get me wrong, I don't live in a cage. Matter of fact, I thought I had heard of most of the kinds of porn that are out there, We even had a story about a guy in Alabama who was caught screwin' a dog last week. And everyone's heard the story about Catherine The Great dyin' while doin' it with a horse. I kind of understand the larger animals, even if it seems completely freaky.  But frogs? That's bat-shit crazy.  How exactly does that work? I'm not sure I could even draw it. Incomprehensible.  Now that I think about though, it's probably just like sex with a chicken.... ;-)

This looks god-awful. I don't want a story with my porn. Didn't that stuff end like 30 years ago? All you want from a good porn flick is action, action and more action. Who wants to actually have to pay attention to a storyline and follow a beginning, middle and end. Not the Bahtendah.  B-b-ang.   D-d-d-one.

Police Say Burglar Was Caught Watching Internet Porn


FLORIDA - A man was arrested after police say he broke into a business and was caught by officers watching porn on one of the company’s computer. The incident happened around 11:20 p.m. Monday night when officers responded to an alarm call at Windswept Appliance and Air Conditioning in Marathon. When they arrived, officers saw an inside light on and found a side door unlocked. One of the officers entered the building and found 19-year-old Kenneth White inside, pulling his pants up. Police saw that a pornographic movie was playing on a computer screen in front of White. Investigators say that upon questioning, White told them he was in the closed and locked business, “looking for a job”. He also told officers that he was inside the business because he saw a light on and was “investigating”. Officer believe White entered the building through an open window. His shoes were found on the ground just outside the window. He faces charges of burglary, criminal mischief and theft.


Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. You gotta lock the doors! I realize your modem at home is probably a little slow for watching your spank flicks, but you'd lock the door there so Mom doesn't come crashing in, right? All you had to do was was lock that side door, grab a box of tissues, sit back and enjoy the air conditioning and go to town. Bang. Pay attention!

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This is the kind of thing that could turn you off to porn forever. And cartoons. And animation. And The Simpsons. And eating. And living. And....

CNBC - Porn's Most Popular Stars

 
The Local
Porn-themed shirt lands Swedish pastor in hot water 
A Stockholm-area pastor has been reported for misconduct after posting pictures of himself on Facebook wearing a t-shirt referencing a famed Swedish porn film while he was supervising a group of Swedish teens. The complaint, received in late November by the Stockholm Diocese of the Church of Sweden, stems from the pastor's choice of clothing while leading a group of young people on a post-confirmation trip to Taizé in central France. In images accompanying the complaint, the pastor is seen wearing a blue t-shirt with the word "Fäbodjäntan" written above a subheading "Äkta svensk hårdporr" ("Real Swedish hardcore porn"). Roughly translated into English as "cowshed wench," "Fäbodjäntan" is the title of an infamous 1970s Swedish porn film directed by American Joseph W. Sarno.

Hey, maybe the guy doesn't speak Swedish...