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NYDAILYNEWS - A naked Penn State student broke into a woman's house and then pretended to be snoozing in her bed when cops busted him, police said. The bungling co-ed, identified as David Darr, 20, of York, Penn., faces charges of burglary, loitering and prowling at night. Northern York County cops said they received a frantic call at 4 a.m. on Friday from a terrified woman who said she had woken up to a man standing over her bed. "I jumped out of bed and screamed 'Who are you?' He didn't say anything," the woman, who didn't give her name, told Pennsylvania's CBS 21. The woman said she bolted from the house and then called the cops from a neighbor's house to report a possible robbery. When police arrived, they hustled the woman's young son out of his bedroom before confronting Darr, who was in another bedroom, totally nude and pretending to be asleep under the covers. His clothes, wallet and cell phone were next to the bed, the station said, and he initially tried to act like he lived there. Cops said Darr lives less than a mile from the home he broke into. "This is weird," the woman said. "I keep thinking, 'Why did he lay down in bed naked?'"

Hey honey, if you don't know the answer to that last question, I'm not sure how you ended up with a son unless the kid's adopted. Why does any college kid hop into a woman's bed naked? I'll tell ya one thing, he ain't lookin' to play beer pong....

PS - Nice mugshot, frat boy.  Hit yer dome on the bedpost?

Naked Man Claiming To Be Jesus Christ Breaks Into Home

TOWN CREEK, Alabama - A naked man claiming to be Jesus Christ broke into a home and took all the photos off the walls. Town Creek police arrested 29-year-old Jeremiah Buxton and charged him with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and indecent exposure. A woman and her young children were home at the time. They ran out unharmed. Buxton tested positive for marijuana and methamphetamine. He's being held without bond.

Nope, me neither. Jesus wears a robe.  Nuff said.

Rumblin', bumblin', stumblin'. What really surprises me here is that this guy didn't shoot himself in the head. I'm dead serious. If you're about to rob a cashier in a convenience store, you probably already got an itchy trigger finger. Now add the fact that your palms are sweaty, you're all flummoxed tryin' to get your ski mask on and the next thing you know you've got a headless burglar. Deep breaths you little thief, deep breaths....

SAGINAW, Mich. - A man who authorities say broke into a Saginaw-area woman's home and was caught naked from the waist down holding a pair of pink panties has been sentenced to a year in jail. Saginaw County Circuit Judge Darnell Jackson this week sentenced 35-year-old Jayson K. Berde for second-degree home invasion and resisting and obstructing a police officer causing injury. Berde earlier pleaded guilty in the case. In exchange, an initial charge of first-degree home invasion was dropped. Authorities say he broke into a woman's home March 17 in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, and apparently knew her through an ex-boyfriend. Police caught him nearby, and an officer suffered minor abrasions trying to apprehend him.

Is this the definition of Karma, or what? You see, after Jayson here meets his new boyfriend in the greybar hotel, he'll be able to spend the next year doing exactly what he was arrested for. Imagine, a whole year of standing naked from the waist down (or maybe bending over), holding a pair of pink panties. Enjoy the vacation. Bang. Pay attention!

Police Say Burglar Was Caught Watching Internet Porn


FLORIDA - A man was arrested after police say he broke into a business and was caught by officers watching porn on one of the company’s computer. The incident happened around 11:20 p.m. Monday night when officers responded to an alarm call at Windswept Appliance and Air Conditioning in Marathon. When they arrived, officers saw an inside light on and found a side door unlocked. One of the officers entered the building and found 19-year-old Kenneth White inside, pulling his pants up. Police saw that a pornographic movie was playing on a computer screen in front of White. Investigators say that upon questioning, White told them he was in the closed and locked business, “looking for a job”. He also told officers that he was inside the business because he saw a light on and was “investigating”. Officer believe White entered the building through an open window. His shoes were found on the ground just outside the window. He faces charges of burglary, criminal mischief and theft.


Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. You gotta lock the doors! I realize your modem at home is probably a little slow for watching your spank flicks, but you'd lock the door there so Mom doesn't come crashing in, right? All you had to do was was lock that side door, grab a box of tissues, sit back and enjoy the air conditioning and go to town. Bang. Pay attention!

WIOD
Man Comes Home To Naked Robber Asleep On Couch
Suspect told cops he needs to "quit drinking"
NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. (970 WFLA) - A man from Hudson was arrested after deputies found him naked and asleep on a couch in a home he had just broken into. Justin Barker burglarized two different houses in Pasco County Wednesday night, according to reports. While inside the first home on Hendrix street in New Port Richey, deputies say Barker trashed the residence and broke appliances. He got inside after smashing a glass door. Deputies believe Barker may have cut himself on the glass. He took off his clothes inside and then left the house. Witnesses identified him running naked down the street. Deputies say the 20-year-old then entered another house on Blayton Street in Holiday. While inside, they say, he broke a lamp, then fell asleep on the victim's couch. The victim came home and found Barker still asleep. Barker didn't wake up until deputies had him in handcuffs. The suspect was treated for cuts on his forearm and then taken to jail.

Cops: Man, 62, stole panties from young neighbors

Ernest Kendler, 62, is accused of raiding his 23-year-old neighbor’s panty drawer to satisfy a fetish, according to a Holmes Beach Police Department report. Police found two pairs of panties in his home — a black pair of Victoria’s Secret hip huggers, and a beige and pink pair — that his neighbor said belong to her, reports The Bradenton Herald. In the meantime, the cops have sent a DNA sample from the woman to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement's lab to see if her DNA matches the DNA found in the panties, according to the Herald. The woman told officers that she and her 21-year-old sister have been missing numerous pairs of panties during the past few years: She reported 23 missing pairs of panties and her sister reported 16 missing thongs, according to the Herald. A laundry is situated between their two residences. The woman also told police that she found a man, believed to be Kendler, in her sister’s bedroom going through the drawers and breathing heavily, according to a search warrant. He fled without showing his face. Kendler is charged with unarmed burglary to a structure. “Ernest Kendler is innocent,” said Kendler's attorney.


Of course it's Florida.  I think Florida is Latin for 'home of the twisted.'  It's always Florida.  Freakiest state in the nation.  Why?  I guess it's because Florida is the penis of America so there's a natural attraction for dickheads.  It's like a karma/magnet thing...

APP.com
Burglar gives tequila back