April Summers Wallpaper

Further proof that Russkies drink vodka all day every day. With eggs for breakfast, with borscht for lunch and with caviar for dinner. There's just no drunker nation on the planet. Suck 'em down, Ivan!

Yup, Stoli all day every day. I'm convinced that Russia is the single craziest nation on the planet. Not crazy bad, crazy like your best fucked-up friend. It starts with Putin and trickles down from there. He's bat-shit crazy so every comrade in the country figures it's okay to be just as crazy as their fearless, bare-chested, playboy, horse-ridin', missile-launching, macho, handsome leader. Okay, I'll stop now before things get too gay.

Tsunamis in Japan. Hail storms in Mexico City. Tornados all over the southern US. Massive bird deaths around the world. Earthquakes in Haiti. Floods in North Dakota. At this point, I'll believe anything. If this thing is real, at least they look small enough that we could beat the shit out of them. Unless of course there's 88 billion more where that came from. Uh-oh.

Remind me not to get arrested in Russia. Even the female cops look like they enjoy beatin' the shit outta ya. But then again, the cops in Russia are probably just as dickered as the prisoners, because as we all know, everyone in Russia drinks Stoli all day every day.

I honestly don't know where to start with this one, but here goes:

1. As always, this is further proof that Russians drink Stoli all day every day.  These fuckers drink vodka like we drink bottled water.
2. This might be the weakest what-could-have-been-a-good-lesbian-video that I've ever seen. It's got some promise but just didn't deliver.  No chance this couldn't be filled during Summertime so at least there'd be a little less clothing going on?  Oh wait, it's Russia, they don't even have Summer, do they?
3. Ever seen the Russian alphabet? It looks like backwards English. I always thought there was some kind of irony or symbolism or some shit involved here.  Like Russia is the evil, backwards image staring back at us from the mirror.  And trust me, that's what these people are - backwards. The Russkies are the exact opposite of us in every way. We're normal, they're fucked up.

Done. Bang. Pay attention!

Yup, vodka for breakfast, lunch and dinner. On the Cheerios, with the sandwich, before and after dinner and alongside the evening snack. Sleep. Wake. Repeat.

It has to be Russia, right? Where EVERYBODY drinks Stoli all day, every day. Stoli with the Corn Flakes, Stoli with the PBJ, Stoli with the borscht. You drunken freaks. It's all fun and games until some baby loses a limb....

This can only happen in a country where EVERYONE drinks Stoli all day, every day....

I'll say it again.  EVERYONE in Russia drinks Stoli all day, every day.  It gets poured over pancakes, added to the mid-morning snack, thrown down again at lunch, mixed with 5-Hour Energy in the afternoon, served with borscht at dinner and added to the warm milk at bedtime.  Za Vas!

I'm tellin' ya, EVERYONE in Russia drinks Stoli all day, every day. I talkin' breakfast, lunch and dinner:

"Hey Vladimir, do you want a soda with that burger?" 
"Soda?  What the fuck is that?  Give me Stoli and don't ever fucking give me anything else!  Vodka goddammit!"

Rock on, you crazy drunken Bolsheviks!