April Summers Wallpaper

Who greased the pole? And this chick is a champion? Man, I'd hate to see the chicks she beat on the way to the finals. They must be the spazziest, bloody-nosed cripples the world has ever seen. And by the way, what's the deal with all the clothes? Chicks dancing on poles should either be wearing nothing or next to nothing. No exceptions. Anything else is false advertising. Having said all that, I'd do her. Call me. Seriously, call me you uncoordinated little Asian hottie. I won't grease my pole - you can. ;-)

The faceplant at about 1:48 is absolutely freakin' priceless. Problem is, once all the other chicks see it, they get a little skittish on the catwalk. Then we don't get all the shakin' and jigglin' we deserve. Sort of kills the vibe. But hey, overall I'll take it. By the way, I'll take contestant number 13. Call me.

...Just a little misery for someone else this morning so you can appreciate what a good day you're gonna have. You're welcome.

Well played, my little spring-breakazoids, well played. It doesn't get much better than this. This is the kind of chick I could marry. Totally up for anything. I just think my question would've had a little more to do with a threesome than catchin' some big air, if ya know what I mean.  "She's top-heavy!"  Outstanding.

Looks like the cops in Savannah are pretty serious, huh? You wanna fight in the middle of the street? Okay, how 'bout you taste a little asphalt with pepper on top? Done. The only one I feel for here is the dude. Kinda looks like he was just tryin' to be a peacemaker and all he got was a few shots of the nightstick for his efforts. Shoulda just let 'em fight to the death....

This is what happens when you try to play with the big boys. The game speeds up when you hit the pros. Everyone's a little faster, a little bigger, a little quicker. You don't just walk into the show and dominate. These playas are professionals and will do whatever it takes to protect their paycheck. Step up your game, rookie, or you'll be ridin' on busses this year instead of planes. Bang. Pay attention!

This dude must be the neighborhood drunk that the kids wait for to come home. Looks like morning and there's more than one person ready to catch the action. All I can say is it must've been on helluva night!

I love a mid-morning quickie. The old wham-bam-thank-you-mam then it's right back to work. Okay, keep movin', nothin' to see here, get busy Speakeasies! Boom. Done.

You keep makin' 'em, I'll keep posting 'em. Schadenfreude is great therapy. Nothing makes you feel better about your own life than watching some dildo plant himself face first into the ground. Gravity's a bitch, but I am that bitch's horny lover!  Send any good fails to Bahtendah@gmail.com - let's see if they make the cut!

Best delayed reaction to a knockout I've seen in a while. Get this dude some smelling salts immediately!

If you look really closely, you can see this dude shake his head a little bit just as he's about to go down. Priceless. You're already in the stocks, your pants are down around you ankles and now comes an outstanding faceplant. What do you think the odds are that his girlfriend broke up with him that day too? That's a triple threat right there. Bravo. 10 out of 10. Bang. Pay attention!

Who knew fencing was such a risky sport? Maybe it's the fact that this dude doesn't have an epee, a face-mask, a funny white suit or any padding. Wait a second, if he did actually have all that stuff, he probably wouldn't have gotten hurt. You following my logic? Pay attention!

I love the way this kid tries to act all cool and nonchalant, like it's just a little kiddie slide, I'm the master of kiddie slides. This little bitch got nothin' on me. Well it just goes to show you pal that even the most harmless things in life can come up and bite you in the ass if you're not payin' attention. Smarten up. Pay the fuck attention! Now go to class....

FUNDAMENTALS you crazy coeds! See, everybody wants to do all the crazy, high-flying, wild stuff all the time but here's the deal: you gotta work on the fundamentals. Simple things like walking at first, then move up to walking and chewing gum, then skipping and maybe finally some running and jumping. Fundamentals first! Bang. Pay attention!

Next time your friend tells you eat shit, don't take it so literally, okay bro? It's a euphemism - e-u-p-h-e-m-i-s-m. Got it? Pay attention!

First of all, I think I see bullet holes in the window. Second of all, although this dude is obviously a jackass, he's got balls the size of churchbells! The way he just nonchalantly walks away after plantin' his puss in the ground has to be admired. I think if the video kept rollin' we'd see him get up there and do it again. And if he failed again I think he'd just whip out the Glock and bust a few caps in that bike for bein' weak. Whole lotta balls. But wait...not quite the balls that THIS GUY has:

...It can't be as bad as this dude's.  Buck up sport!