April Summers Wallpaper

April kinda sucks. It's startin' to warm up just enough to make you hope for Summer, but still not nice enough to start golfin' just yet or hangin' outdoors. Let's live vicariously through these partiers at Spring Break. It's comin' Speakeasies, it's comin'....

See, it's not all bikini contests, tequila contests and bangin' ho's. There's also some serious fun to be had. Like the kid in this video who's standin' on the outskirts of the fight and when he sees his opportunity he just kicks one of the dudes in the ribs for no reason at all. That's pure, unadulterated fun! Trip of a lifetime! (Just kidding - he's a gutless puke.)

When will we learn? Now this is not the worst wakeup I've ever seen - matter of fact I'd consider this dude lucky. All he got was a little flour in the grill-master. No biggie. Do yourself a favor my sleepy friend, make the payback a bitch and we'll put it up right here on the Speakeasy. Send it to Bahtendah@gmail.com...Really.

Well played, my little spring-breakazoids, well played. It doesn't get much better than this. This is the kind of chick I could marry. Totally up for anything. I just think my question would've had a little more to do with a threesome than catchin' some big air, if ya know what I mean.  "She's top-heavy!"  Outstanding.

Just a quickie. You were expecting more? Deal with it. You're welcome.

Boobies! (Hey, I said it was a quickie....)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I don't need to see who was before her. I don't need to see who came after her (pun intended). This contest is over. Stop the music. Stop the other chicks from comin' out. Give Jessica the trophy and the check and we can all hit the bar. Bang. Done. Pay attention!

Here's some Ft. Lauderdale bikini action to warm the cockles of your heart. I'm sittin' here in the snow yesterday and watchin' the shit that's goin' down in South Florida just wonderin' when the hell I'll be able to wear a pair of shorts again. Sucks to be me....

Thanks to Pirate Ed for the submission. Send what ya got to bahtendah@gmail.com

I live for the dance....

Where all the dudes at? Is this some kind of sorority-only hotel or somethin'? I caught one or two guys in there but they sure don't seem to want any piece of the action. Anyway, I love chick fights because there's usually more yellin' than punchin' and that's certainly the case here although the girl with the white sweater takes a few shots. As a matter of fact, these ladies are yellin' and screamin' so much I have absolutley no idea what the beef is. Oh well, keep 'em comin' and we'll keep postin' 'em!

Spring break is startin' to roll. Let's kick it off with "Sweet Caroline," a song that's become a Boston staple being totally ripped off by these revelers on South Padre Island. Looks like a good time until the donkey with the cut-off shorts that looks like he pissed himself shows up around the 2-minute mark. Why do dinkwads like this guy always have to show up and ruin a perfectly good beach party? Buzz-kill....

PS - Send all your Spring Break madness to bahtendah@gmail.com and show the world your school pride! Time to step it up people!

Breakin....

Maybe the crazy chick at the beginning of this video got this guy's balls in an uproar. I can understand that. But once you start shadow-boxing with a cop who's holding a taser, how many shots of Jaeger do you have to have in you to not realize you're goin' down like a $5 blowjob? There's a time to fight the war and a time to ditch the battle. You my friend should've ditched. Bang. Pay the fuck attention!

PS - You can't believe how jealous I am of all this Spring Break madness I keep seein'. Screw it, it's Saint Paddy's Day. I'm gonna get so liquored up tonight I just might end up on the business end of a taser myself. Here's what I'm ordering first thing when I hit the pub tonight - no joke. If I'm not postin' for a coupla days you'll know why:

Then I'll try to bang the waitress, too! See if she's interested in the Irish Inch Of Aggression. Erin Go Feckin' Bragh!

Hope you're all on some beach somewhere watchin' chicks in wet T-shirts and poundin' tequila. Rage on, Speakeasies!

So Daylight Savings Time starts this weekend. Always the time of year when you start thinkin' about beaches and babes and booze. Chicks will start wearing less clothes and struttin' their stuff. I am so ready I can taste it. The snow around Speakeasy HQ is all melted and I'm friggin' pumped and jacked to start hangin' outdoors, hittin' the beach, and diggin' my toes into some warm sand. Bring it on!

PS - Send us your Spring Break vids and photos. We need as much of that shit as possible. Beirut!!!