April Summers Wallpaper

Stoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Cheers!

Get this cop a doughnut! If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Russian food = Stoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This lunatic needs to be on "Russia's Got Talent" if there even is such a thing. Because even though he's completely dickered he obviously has the rhythm of a young Michael Jackson. He's just as white, too. Bravo, Officer Shotglass!

Somebody seriously has to tell me if this dude lived or died. He's gotta be dead, right? I mean it's not humanly possible to suck down that much vodka and live, is it? The only other explanantion is that this is fake, but I saw them crack the bottle. Plus, if he was just drinkin' water I don't think he would've gone for that swig of soda at the end. Hardcore, Yuri. Hardcore. Putin will be proud.

Remember, every Russian is drinkin' vodka all day every day. So it shouldn't surprise this lady that once the dude gets pissed about how she lets her dog shit on the walkway and not pick it up that Ivan here starts hurlin' at her. Hey, he's got gloves on, he's pissed and he's ripped on vodka. You don't want to get hit with poop? Pick it up! Da! Pay attention!

Major League Baseball and the National Hockey League scour the far reaches of the planet to find potential players. Hell, the Red Sox signed some Australian softball player a couple of months ago. Soccer players are discovered all over the world and end up in the best professional leagues. It seems like every NBA team has some player from a foreign country. It's time for the NFL to follow suit. The closest I've seen recently was Stephen Neal, a wrestler the Pats drafted who never even played football in college. I'm calling on the genius, coach Belichick to be the trend-setter here. Look at this dude! He's a fucking animal. Are you telling me that some D-line or linebackers coach couldn't get ahold of him for a few months and have him eatin' quarterbacks for lunch? Step outside the box, Coach Yoda. Your legacy will only grow.

Further proof that Russians drink vodka all day every day. With the Cheerios for breakfast, with their grilled cheeses for lunch, with their Borscht for dinner and with their cookies before bed. Just a hole nation of drunken goofballs. How was your commute this morning?

Those dastardly Russians. Always working on secret projects that will help them take over the world. Looks like they've mastered levitation now. Can't you just see how this will translate to the battlefield? They'll be jumping up over our tanks, levitating over our minefields, shooting up into trees and buildings. Even if we capture a few of 'em, they'll just fly right out of our prison camps. Our soldiers won't have a chance! How can you possibly defeat an army of flying Bolsheviks! There's a new generation of flying Russkies and they're coming to get us. Damn you, Putin!

And by the way, this has to be a Russian squirrel, right?